Category: Conflict Transformation

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Change the Narrative!

If the definition of worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want, what is the definition of manifesting?

It is extremely easy to waste time worry about things that you do not want in your life.  Troubled relationships, career challenges and financial setbacks are just a few issues that can have your thoughts wondering aimlessly out of control.

Several years ago, as I experienced several major crises simultaneously, I often worried if I would survive it all.

First there was the divorce. It was hard and I was stressed. How would I survive, how would it affect my daughter, how would dating and relationships look for me afterwards and how would others perceive my choice? That 12 months of required separation in the state of NC was difficult.

I worried myself to the point of being unhealthy. I was stressed, consistently anxious, not sleeping well, over-weight and extremely unhappy with myself. Just when I thought things were about to get better, the cancer diagnosis appeared.

The week of my divorce hearing, I took time off of work to spring clean my home. I was ready for new beginnings and a fresh start. I wanted so badly to cleanse myself of the constant turmoil and self-imposed worrying. I had my first mammogram, which lead to a callback and subsequently to the diagnosis.

Up until the point of getting married, I was fairly consistent with my physical and nutritional health. Marriage added a level of stress in my life that I wasn’t fully prepared for.

How could this be?

On my last day of radiation treatment, I lost my job and the constant worry continued.

What now & What next?

I share part of my story today because this week marks my 8-year survival story!

I am surviving and thriving. 8 years post-divorce & post-cancer

My journey hasn’t been the easiest, and there have definitely been a few setbacks. What I’ve learned along the way is to focus my time, energy and attention toward the things that I actually want for my life.

I am spending less time focused on things that do not bring me peace, joy or purpose. This involves understanding and owning my values and taking intentional action to reset my personal expectations. It takes discipline to train your mind to focus on manifesting and not worrying.

Many of the traditional methods that are talked about for stress reduction and developing discipline actually work if you work them to your advantage.

  • Journaling is great for getting your thoughts and concerns out of your head and down on paper so that you can create a strategy to effectively manage your challenges. I recently saw a post on Instagram that says, “If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself. I couldn’t agree more”. Get those thoughts out of your mind and create peace within!

  • Exercising is a great way to re-direct your energy and improve your ability to do everyday activities. Imagine the heightened sense of awareness you can generate from a little physical movement.

  • Understanding earth’s elements are a non-traditional method of dealing with stress and redirecting your thoughts from worry to manifest. The elements are air, water, fire, earth and space. Find the element that speaks to you intently. I personally feel most relaxed by varying bodies of water. The crashing sound of ocean waves, or the stillness of a calming lake are both great at helping me to relax and find peace.

For my present and future, I am manifesting an everyday life that is filled with reciprocal love, amazing opportunities, genuine friendships, harmonious family interactions and all the blessings that God has planned and purposed for me.

On June 2, 2015, I had surgery to remove the cancer tumors from my body and on June 4, 2018, I re-entered the workforce with new skills and a highly viable career path. Origins of Peace exist today because of the multiple challenges that I experienced in 2015.

Dating and relationships in this survivor era offer the biggest area of opportunity for me. I’ve come close to manifesting the relationship that I desire, but nothing has panned out completely as of yet. Stay tuned for future posts to see how that plays out. I am hopeful.

What am I manifesting for this area of my life?

A love that is never selfish, always of service, and precisely on purpose.

    From My Mouth to God’s ears

My definition for manifesting is to demonstrate the things that I desire in life prior to actually obtaining them. This is easier said than done, but it is possible, and I am actively doing it.

As I celebrate 8 years of surviving and thriving, I choose to demonstrate good health, love and understanding, progressiveness and forward thinking, spiritual fortitude, and all the desires of my heart while God continues to add blessing upon blessing to my life.

My prayer is that you will change the narrative that you repeat to yourself. May your thoughts of worry turn to offerings of praise and gratitude.

Peace & Blessings to you!

If you are ready to create a strategy of manifestation for your life, let’s work together. Schedule a complimentary consultation today by clicking here. 

Much Love,

Melissa

 

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Protect Me Like Academy Sports Protects its Online Purchases

Audio Companion

 

See the picture above, this was me last week relaxing in my new RIO Beach Backpack Lounger from Academy Sports.

Please forgive my nearly closed eyes, but I’ve been dealing with some major sinus congestion for more than a week now. Sheer agony!

Anyway, for weeks I had been searching for a beach lounger, when I came across the perfect one on the Academy Sports Website. The color scheme perfectly matched my beach dining accessories from Tabitha Brown’s latest release at Target, it was light weight, and the straps were perfect for easy portability.

I ordered the lounger using a gift card that I received on my birthday last year. When I arrived at the store to pick up my order, I decided to use curbside pickup, since I was not feeling well. I selected the appropriate options to alert an associate that I was outside waiting. When the associate arrived, he immediately asked me for my ID. This posed a problem for me because I had lost my driver’s license at the beach, the previous weekend. Before uttering a word, I looked in my purse and retrieved the gift card that I used to make the purchase, my confirmation email, and my temporary driver’s license.

As I am doing all of this, I told the associate that I had lost my driver’s license, but I had all the items that I listed above as verification that I was in fact the person that placed and paid for the order.

The associate’s initial response was to refuse delivery. My response was, how will my picture ID assure you that I am the person who made the online purchase? Your website didn’t ask for a picture, so how would that help you validate the purchase and me as the purchaser?

We discussed the dilemma for a few minutes and then a second associate came out to my car whom I assume was a manager.

After about a 10-minute delay, I was able to get my order.

As I began driving away, I immediately thought to myself, I need this kind of protection in my life.

Protect Me Like Academy Sports Protects its Online Purchases!

The intention, the verification, and the validation of transacting with the appropriate party was top tier for me. Although I was the one who could not provide the needed information, I appreciate the steps taken by the store to ensure that I was in fact who I claimed to be.

Imagine if each of us took that same level of care in our everyday relationships. Instead of rushing into agreements with others, what if we took time to actually validate who they really are? I was able to gain the trust of the associates because I described the color of my dining accessories and how the colors complimented the lounger that I purchased. I also talked about my past trip to the beach and my intention of going back. All of this discussion helped the associates get to know a little about me and become comfortable with the decision to give me my lounger.

I’ve had a number of representatives show up in my life claiming to be someone whom they really were not. When I thought that I was dealing with someone who had integrity and was trustworthy, but in reality, they turned out to be just the opposite.

The lessons that I am taking from this encounter are:

  1. I will always show up as my authentic self, and I will expect others to do the same
  2.  I will value the connections that can be made by simply engaging in a little small talk
  3. I will respect the boundaries and values of others, and I will expect others to show the same respect to me

These are simple truths that are now part of my #originsofpeace.

How about you? Are you showing up authentically, and do you have set expectations and values that others must adhere to?

There is a quote that says,

“Intention is one of the most powerful forces there is. What you mean when you do a thing will always determine the outcome. The law creates the world.”

 

My intention is to be protected as well as Academy Sports protects its online purchases! What’s your intention?

Peace & Blessing!

Melissa

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We’re are Hiring!

Hello Origins of Peace Family!

   My sincere hope is that you are having a fabulous day.

I wanted to reach out and let you know that we are intentionally growing at OOP!

I have two part-time, contractor positions available.

Please see the images below for an overview of both.

If you are interested in learning more, send your resume to: melissa_rivers@originsofpeace.com.

I will be back next week with more peaceful content, to help you own your values and enforce your expectations of peace.

 

#peaceismypriority

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Is the First Impression the Only Impression?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were judged based on a version of you that existed long ago?

If so, were you bothered by it?

As a continuously evolving individual, there are so many different versions of you that will exists, over the span of your life.

I’ve found myself in that situation, and I can truthfully say that it didn’t feel good at all.

As a youth, I dealt with so many insecurities which often left me feeling inadequate, unsure of myself and isolated in a huge world.

These feelings caused me to retreat in certain situations, and to avoid settings that felt uncomfortable.

As a forward-thinking adult, therapy and self-reflection played a huge part in my process of becoming whole.

When others decide to judge you, based on who they knew you to be, during your impressionable years, it can trigger a setback and cause feelings of inadequacy to become more profound. You can also simply acknowledge what was said, glean any lessons that you need to take with you, and continue to move forward.

This week, I challenge you to move forward and celebrate yourself for making progress.

The level of value placed on the thoughts and opinions that others have about you, is totally up to you.

If you decide not to allow those opinions to weigh too heavily on your mind, don’t.

We all know those people who like to remind you of your past or who they think you are in their mind, and it can be a detractor from your progress.

Don’t allow it to be.

If you are doing the best that you can at this moment in life, keeping going. If you are placing too much value on the thoughts and opinions of others, stop doing that.

The purpose that God has placed in you, can’t be measured by another human being. Your purpose is God given. 

Place people in the categories where they belong in your life and keep this scripture close to your heart….

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

Before you were born, I set you apart….. -Jeremiah 1:5

“You can’t find peace in a place that you do not trust. Trust yourself.”

Much Love,

Melissa

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Don’t Lose Your Melody

From the desk of Melissa Rivers

Most people who are experiencing conflict withdraw from doing the things that add peace and enjoyment to their lives. On top of the already solemn mood that is being displayed, a decision is made to stop doing things that are enjoyable, in order to sit in the conflict and ride the wave of emotions.

When it comes to conflict, I often think of the quote by Mahatma Gandhi that says, “happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” 

Nice quote, but how often does this truly happen? How frequently are your thoughts, words and actions completely aligned? Most of the time, one of these three elements isn’t showing up for the party, or ready to play nicely. The words you speak proclaim your intention of doing great things, but your mind tends to disrupt things by ushering in fear or overthinking.

To be real, life is absolutely happening, and we are the benefactors of what happens, good, bad or indifferent.

You have every right to feel sad when you want to or to take a break for as long as you need to, but in doing so, don’t give up doing the things that add peace and joy to your life.

Don’t retreat.  In times like this, you have to remember your melody.

I like to think of my “happiness triggers” as my personal melody.

My melody consists of painting, writing, long walks, beautiful bodies of water and of course music! These are the tools that I depend on to get through my challenging moments. These are the gifts that help me overcome when I feel defeated or less than my best. These are the same gifts that I turn to when I am celebrating a win.

When you find yourself feeling stuck, remember your melody and push Play!

Now there are things that knock the very breath from our lungs when we experience them. I know this feeling all too well. These are the things that leave us speechless or constantly guessing how, why, and what happened! Yet and still, you are an overcomer.

I want to share three things that you can do to realign your thoughts and breathe again when you are left feeling depleted.

  1. Start each day with an expression of gratitude. Ask yourself, “what am I grateful for today,” When you start thinking about things to be grateful for, you allow your mind the opportunity to reflect on your melody.
  2. Celebrate previous wins. Remind yourself of all that you’ve accomplished. If you are reading this right now, you’ve overcome 100% of the things that have been sent to challenge you. Celebrate that!
  3. Find something to focus on.  You need a reason, a purpose or a person to get you over the hump. If making pancakes gives you joy, focus on that!

Your melody is your personal song. No one has the same song. The elements might be the same, but the style and vibe belong to you.

If you resonate with anything in this post, I invite you to join my next Peace by Design Academy or sign up for a CREATE! Empowerment Session.

Both offerings are a great way to extract lessons from past experiences in order to move forward with integrity and a detailed map of what’s next!

You have work to do in this world, and you cannot do it if you do not show up for the opportunity. Grab your melody and let’s go!

Peace,

Melissa

 

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” You Can’t Find Rest in a Place That You Don’t Trust”

What are you praying for, hoping for and dreaming of accomplishing?

Are you all in and ready for the next level or is there something that is holding you back?

During my month-long hiatus, I had to ask myself these same questions about my business, my relationships and life in general.

The resounding answer came to me in the form of a sermon from @jadaedwards, of #OneCommunityChurch.

The answer that was revealed loud and clear said, “you cannot find rest in a place that you don’t trust.”

I was immediately convicted and had to ask myself….

  • Do I fully trust that I will be successful in my work?
  • Do I believe there is safety and acceptance for me in relationships?
  • Do I trust that God will allow me to experience true peace on this side of heaven?

To truly experience the rest that I desire, there are several growth gaps that I need to work through, to build trust in those areas.

“My Action Plan for Peace” includes more authentic connection, more play and more movement.

What about you?

Is it time to hit the reset button?

Is it time to do things differently?

Are there areas in your life where you are trusting God to make a major move, but you lack the complete trust that will transport you to your next destination?

Let’s talk about it.

Schedule your Create! Session today and together we will build your Action Plan for Peace!

“Father God, I thank you for giving me beauty for my ashes and praise where there is pressure.”

– Amen

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Have you ever heard of an Alone Audit?

Yes, this is totally a thing.
I discovered this phenomenon while flipping through the pages of Oprah Magazine, Live Your Best Life.
Apparently, an Alone Audit allows you to track how you spend your alone time and the activities that you prefer to do alone.
I am here for it. I think it helps you to gauge what activities you are comfortable doing on your own and which you prefer to do with a companion. It might also be helpful if you’re attempting to boost your social interactions with others. Too much alone time isn’t good. There needs to be balance.
With that said, our website, http://www.origins of peace.com will be offline during month of March while we perform some much-needed upgrades to the website and also dive into some continuous development work.
We will be offline on our website, but you can catch us in person, today February 26th from 1pm-5pm at the Cabarrus Arena in Concord, NC. We are a vendor at the Black Heritage Festival. Look for the beautiful table with the gorgeous custom Planters.
On March 11th you can find us at McGill Baptist Church in Concord, NC for the College and Career Fair. This event is hosted by the Concord Alumnae Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
I am excited to announce that Origins of Peace, LLC has been selected to participate in the Equity in Contracting program sponsored by @Wells Fargo and @CPCC. I am ecstatic and looking forward to the opportunity to grow and develop.
Thank you so much for being an active part of the Origins of Peace Community.
Let’s keep in touch!
Facebook and Instagram @OriginsofPeace, our Non-profit @Healrecovergrowinc on Facebook and Instagram, and @planters_with_soul on Instagram.
Whew! Did I list them all!
For immediate assistance email originsofpeace@gmail.com
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Happy Valentine’s Day to You!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you from Origins of Peace!
Valentine’s Day means so much more when you truly love who you are inclusive of the challenges, scars and tears that have been shed.
Valentine’s Day is an expression of true love with a whole-hearted understanding of the person whom you’ve decided to commit to.
 Origins of Peace, LLC sends the biggest hug and warmest wishes for genuine love of self to you on this day.
May your day be full of magic!
Peace & Love,
Melissa
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Is You Happy?

Coastal Carolina is Calling My Name
 
Do you believe in Adult Timeouts?
I do and I look forward to them.
Truth be told, I do not indulge in them as much as I would like, but I do enjoy taking a sabbatical from it all.
Last summer I found the perfect escape for my timeout needs. A 3-hour trip down Hwy 74 to Southport, NC.
In addition to the quaint, small-town vibes, I was able to catch the ferry to Kure Beach, sit along the shoreline and enjoy stillness.
There is no greater feeling for me than to be near the water, under the sun, engulfed by the essence of peace.
One of my goals this year is to partake in more activities that may me happy, I mean genuinely happy.
I realize this type of getaway may be boring for some people, but for me it provides exactly what I need to decompress, rejuvenate and then start again.
 
This is truly the perfect getaway weekend for me.
 
As I work through my list of goals for the year, there are a few growth gaps that I have to close, which means I have to learn to embrace a few things that make me uncomfortable.
 
One song lyric that lives rent free in my mind is from the song “Why you Wanna,” by T.I. and it simply says, “Is You Happy?”
 
Every day as I repeat my mantras and reflect on my vision board, I simply say, “Is You Happy,” and then I start my day.
 
So, ask yourself, “Is You Happy” and if your answer is no, let’s work on a plan to change that.
I have a program called Create! that will give you the tools and resources that you need to create a lifestyle that brings you joy.
 
Let’s work.
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Love & Culture Month

Welcome to February, the month designated for the appreciation of blackness and love, remember to lead with love.

                                           “you attract more goodness with honey than vinegar.”

You cannot be bitter and spiteful toward those you lead or love and expect them to show up as their best self!

What’s one thing that you can implement during the next week to lead with honey (love).

Origins of Peace,
Melissa